Gardening and the Liturgical Year

 A new post went out from my Substack today, including an invitation to join me at Fieldmoot!

Shape Poem: Wisp

 The Wednesday Poetry Prompt from Writer's Digest this week is to write a shape poem. As it is something I've never tried, I thought I'd give it a shot. Here it is (if the formatting plays nicely...):

            Wisp

       w

    i      s

      p

        o

          f

         s

      m

    o

    k

     e

     .

     .

     .

    it

    is

    a

 small

 thing,

 like a

 whisp

 -ered

 prayer

 rising

from an

      extinguished

       candle after

        my exhale. 

The Posture of Patience

 You can read my new post HERE. 

Joining Substack...

 I've been pretty hit and miss about publishing here, and much more consistent on Instagram. I'm trying something new this year, though, and I've started a substack newsletter if you're interested. It includes the sorts of things I post here, like poetry and musings on the liturgical year, along with some deeper musings. I'll probably still post here occasionally, but I've been on the once-or-twice a year schedule for a couple years now, so if you're looking for something more consistent, substack might be your answer. 

Stepping Painfully into the Day (Published by She is Kindred)

Stepping Painfully Into The Day

"My body hurts today."

First waking thoughts

as I press my weight into arthritic feet

and stand to face the day.

This is my body, broken for you.

I hobble toward the bathroom

each step a reminder 

that I am broken,

that this body bears the effects

of creation, fallen.

"I could just fall back into bed,"

and a sigh,

"but I hurt there, too."

Do this in remembrance of me.

Get out of bed, in remembrance of me.

Face the day, in remembrance of me .

Take each painful step, in remembrance of me .

toward the work He has prepared for me today,

in remembrance of me.

Ora et labora. 

Whatever you do,

in word or deed,

do all to the name

of the Lord Jesus Christ,

giving thanks

to God and the Father

through Him. 

Ora et labora. 

in remembrance of me.

Amen.

 

Poem published at She is Kindred.

Santa Lucia Day

 Another Santa Lucia Day, come and gone. As we have the last several years, we began with saffron buns and our own Lucia, complete with white dress, red sash, and candled wreath upon her head. As we sat at the table eating, I watch the candles burn down and thought over Lucia's life and death, and what her story can teach us. Of course, that means my thoughts came out in poem form. 

Santa Lucia

Lucia’s candle ever shorter grows

Like these twilit waning days

Against the dark it ever glows

‘Till darkness snuffs its golden rays

Of hope she sings unsetting sun

This bread for you and blood poured out

Her self pledged only ever one

True love her light reflects without

Passion alone her candle burns

No torch can make it blaze

Throat silenced for the quiet yearns

These still dark waning days

This bread eat and drink this cup

Borne light upon your brow

Even falling lifted up

Dawn’s light comes swiftly now

On Santa Lucia day 

2020 Reading list - How did I do?

 Back in January I posted a list of 50 books I wanted to read in 2020. As of today, 11 months into the year, I have read 60 books. But how many of those were on my original list? Let's see... 

• The Overstory by Richard Powers
• A Gospel Primer by Milton Vincent
• Food Matters by Mark Bittman
• Habits of Grace by David Mathis STARTED
• The Complete Tales of Winnie the Pooh
• Everybody Always by Bob Goff
• Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard
• Devil in the White City by Erik Larson
• 100 Cupboards by N.D. Wilson
• Women Rowing North by Mary Pipher
• Educated: A Memoir by Tara Westover

• A book with an emotion in the title: Awe by Paul David Tripp
• A young adult novel: A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle OR The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart
• A book translated from another language: The Song of Roland OR Latin: Story of a World Language
• A book that's centered around a holiday: Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury
• A novel based on a true story: Devil in the White City by Erik Larsen 
• A book with song lyrics in the title: 1984 by George Orwell
• A book that's been on your shelf for more than a year: Norms and Nobility by David Hicks
• A book with a non-human narrator: The Green Ember by S.D. Smith
• A book with a month in the title: The Enchanted April by Elizabeth von Arnim
• A book you heard about on TV / Radio / a podcast: The Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey 
• A book set in the state you live in: Conjugations of the Verb To Be by Glen Chamberlain
• A romance novel: Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

• A Shakespeare Play: Winter's Tale
• A Classic Detective Novel: Strong Poison by Dorothy L. Sayers
• A Contemporary Novel: Gilead by Marilynne Robinson
• A Historical Fiction Novel: The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follet
• A Ancient Greek Play: The Bacchae OR Prometheus Bound
• A Collection of Short Stories: The Return of the Light by Carolyn McVicar Edwards STARTED
• A Biography or Memoir: Take This Bread by Sara Mills
• A Devotional Work: The Desert Fathers STARTED
• A Book About Books: The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society by Mary Anne Shaffer and Annie Barrows
• A Foreign (Non-Western) Book: Comet in Moominland by Tove Jansson 
• A "Guilty Pleasure" Book: The Year of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs
• An Intimidating Book You Have Avoided: Confessions by St. Augustine 
• A Satire: Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
• A Book of Essays: The Art of the Commonplace by Wendell Berry
• A Book by a Minor Author: A Gospel Primer by Milton Vincent
• A Classic Book by a Female Author: Interior Castle by Teresa of Avila STARTED
• A Complete Volume of Poetry by a Single Author: A Timbered Choir by Wendell Berry
• An "Out of Your Comfort Zone" Book: The Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard
• Reread a Book You Read in High School: The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne

• Slow Church
• This Organic Life
• Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places
• The Prophetic Imagination
• The Nordic Theory of Everything
• Long Live Latin
• The Roman Way
• Making of Latin
• Sabbath
• Reading for the Common Good

SO.... I've read an awful lot that wasn't on this list, and not made too much progress on what is here. But I'm okay with that. And I'll have a couple of these done by the end of the year, since I have started them and am making progress. We'll see what the 2021 lineup is in about a month. In the meantime, I'll keep reading. :)

F(e)ast

One season boxed up

the next on display save the

wadded up tablecloth

awaiting the day

it is washed clean

the last remnant of feasting

for tomorrow we fast

the good news of course is

the fast doesn’t last

like our tears it is wiped away

at the feast of the lamb

in the stable at the head

of the table on the throne I am

the one who is able

we fast the time past as we

wait for the feast with breath bated

we open the first door that is dated and

the door to our hearts opens just a bit more

we step through the season to

make it just right as the steps

of the season guide our hearts

through the night to the light

of the candles that shine on the hall

where the banquet is served

come one and come all

for the bridegroom has come - let us feast!

the night will be broken

the silence undone

every string will be tuned

every song will be sung

when the light of the king

shines beyond every shadow

with darkness consumed

by the glorious Son

and the bride and her groom

at last become one.

Learning to be Still

A month into the quarantine, the hard days are fewer and further between. I'm one who finds ways to keep busy most days, so that I don't fall into the depths of despair on the hard days. In this season of solitude, of downtime, of quiet, though, I am learning to be still. I am learning to be present to the thoughts and feelings of the moment, without letting them carry me away downstream. Today I sat outside with my thoughts, and was blessed, not with sudden happiness or the weight lifted, but with the company of birds and sunshine on my face. It is not that we don't walk through hard things; it is that we don't walk through them alone. And so I sat, reminded that hard is not the same as bad. There ARE bad things, but not all hard things are bad. And so, I tried to make something beautiful with what I have to offer today. The video above is the result. I wish you grace and peace as you learn to be present, and still. 

The mystery of Christ... in cookies (Maundy Thursday)

Can the mystery of Christ show up in cookies?

He certainly showed up in their delivery on this Maundy Thursday, just as we were partaking of the elements during the online service that has become "normal" in this time of Covid 19.

When we celebrated communion on Sunday, I had saved the very last of the grape juice from our grapes, thinking it would be fitting to have the last bit for a seder on Thursday, here in our home. But the week got away from me and I did not muster the energy to put together a seder; instead we had alfredo and bread, a warm and cozy meal shared together as a family. Had I realized that we would have communion during the service (which I should have, given that it is Maundy Thursday), I would have saved a bit of the sourdough bread we had with dinner. But I didn't, so Eliana quick grabbed a slice of sandwich bread from the pantry. I silently lamented the insufficiency of a slice of purchased bread to accompany the very last of our grape juice for communion. One seemed fitting for the altar; the other did not.

I served the elements to Eliana, and before she could return the blessing, the Dunhams showed up on my doorstep with Easter cookies, the hands and feet of Christ, in the flesh, to bless me with His presence and love in my isolation. Oh, what joy to be remembered!

Immediately behind the Dunhams, Maggie rode up on her bike to visit across the yard with Eliana. And God's grace dawned on me in a new and profound way:

It is not in the sufficiency of the bread that He comforts us, but with His body, His communion, His fellowship, His love - so often shown not in mysterious ways, but in the mundane. And yet, His presence makes all things sacred, even cookies with pastel M&Ms. A bite of cookie, a sip of juice, and I am blessed by the miracle of His provision for me, once again.

My High Priest (Shrove Tuesday)

Today, on Shrove Tuesday, I ponder the role of a priest. I do not actually go see a priest during Shrovetide, as Christ is my high priest and the only one who stands between me and God, without whom I would have no access to approach the throne of grace. And so, in pondering what it means to shrive, in its three-fold definition of 1) confessing 2) receiving penance 3) being absolved, I also ponder what these mean in relationship with Christ. Here is what came of today's ponderings:

My high priest
Hears my cry
Shows me the way
Says I’m released

My high priest
Takes my confession
Leads me straight
Declares me free

My high priest
Takes my shame
Hears the name
I call myself
He says I am the way
For the next 40 days
And I am the life
You lead and follow
And I am the light
That will guide
You through the darkness
Of the wilderness
So take my yoke
In exchange for your burdens
I’ll bear them for you
For they are death
And I am the truth
Whose name I give to you
To replace the lies
You tend to call yourself

My high priest
Hears my heart
Sets me apart
And makes me clean

My high priest
Hears my cry for mercy
Says come and follow me
And is my Hope.

New Year, New Friends, New Books

Well, here we stand on the threshold of a new year.

As in other years, our daughter had plans for New Years Eve, and we did not. I looked forward to a quiet evening at home, after having house guests for a little over two weeks. We had taken my parents to the airport on the afternoon of the 30th, when Leif came to me later that day and said, "So... there's a guy I know from a couple conferences. I told him that if he's ever coming through this way, he should stay with us. And... he's coming through, so I told him he could stay with us."

"... Tonight?" I asked, hesitatingly.

"Tomorrow."

"Okay. You know that's New Year's Eve, right?"

So... we had plans after all. With a guy I'd never met, but Leif had met a couple times.... and his wife... and their three kids... and a german shepherd.

Feeling the weight of very little time to my introverted self over the past couple weeks, I braced myself for a social next day and set about cleaning up the house from the Christmas chaos that had descended upon it.

Sometimes I forget that we have this house so that we can bless others with it. We certainly don't need a house this large for our family of 3, but we can easily accommodate a family of five when they drop in. And I'm thankful they dropped in.

We rang in the new year playing Monty Python Fluxx, laughing and chatting with these new friends. We had a wonderful time. They brought cinnamon rolls, which we ate for breakfast, and it was, all in all, a lovely time.

As I went to bed a bit after midnight, I pulled out my current book and read before falling asleep. Last year I aimed to read 30 books. I finished 2019 having read 65. And a half, if you count the one I'm in the middle of. In 2020, my goal is to read 50 books. Today, I spent time listening to The Literary Life podcast on their 20 for 2020 reading challenge. I think I'm going to tackle that this year. I may also do a reading challenge from a friend's blog over at While I Was Reading. I am also going to work my way through some books that friends recommended I read in my 40th year.

40th Birthday Book Recommendations:

• The Overstory by Richard Powers
• A Gospel Primer by Milton Vincent
• Food Matters by Mark Bittman
• Habits of Grace by David Mathis
• The Complete Tales of Winnie the Pooh
• Everybody Always by Bob Goff
• Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard
• Devil in the White City by Erik Larson
• 100 Cupboards by N.D. Wilson
• Women Rowing North by Mary Pipher
• Educated: A Memoir by Tara Westover

While I Was Reading Challenge Categories:

• A book with an emotion in the title: Awe by Paul David Tripp
• A young adult novel: A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle OR The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart
• A book translated from another language: The Song of Roland OR Latin: Story of a World Language
• A book that's centered around a holiday: Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury
• A novel based on a true story: Devil in the White City by Erik Larsen 
• A book with song lyrics in the title: 1984 by George Orwell
• A book that's been on your shelf for more than a year: Norms and Nobility by David Hicks
• A book with a non-human narrator: The Green Ember by S.D. Smith
• A book with a month in the title: The Enchanted April by Elizabeth von Arnim
• A book you heard about on TV / Radio / a podcast: The Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey 
• A book set in the state you live in: Conjugations of the Verb To Be by Glen Chamberlain
• A romance novel: Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

The Literary Life 20 for 2020 Challenge:

• A Shakespeare Play: Winter's Tale
• A Classic Detective Novel: Strong Poison by Dorothy L. Sayers
• A Classic Children's Book: The Complete Takes of Winnie the Pooh 
• A Contemporary Novel: Gilead by Marilynne Robinson
• A Historical Fiction Novel: The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follet
• A Ancient Greek Play: The Bacchae OR Prometheus Bound
• A Collection of Short Stories: The Return of the Light by Carolyn McVicar Edwards
• A Biography or Memoir: Take This Bread by Sara Mills
• A Devotional Work: The Desert Fathers
• A Book About Books: The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society by Mary Anne Shaffer and Annie Barrows
• A Foreign (Non-Western) Book: Comet in Moominland by Tove Jansson OR And Quiet Flows the Don by Mikhail Sholokhov
• A "Guilty Pleasure" Book: The Year of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs
• An Intimidating Book You Have Avoided: Confessions by St. Augustine 
• A Satire: Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
• A Book of Essays: The Art of the Commonplace by Wendell Berry
• A Book by a Minor Author: A Gospel Primer by Milton Vincent
• A Classic Book by a Female Author: Interior Castle by Teresa of Avila
• A Complete Volume of Poetry by a Single Author: A Timbered Choir by Wendell Berry
• An "Out of Your Comfort Zone" Book: The Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard
• Reread a Book You Read in High School: The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne

Reading these gives me 40 specific titles to read over the next year. It does not include these books, which I have on my shelf to read: 

• Slow Church
• This Organic Life
• Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places
• The Prophetic Imagination
• The Nordic Theory of Everything
• Long Live Latin
• The Roman Way
• Making of Latin
• Sabbath
• Reading for the Common Good

So... There are 50 books I would like to read this year. We'll see how many of those I actually make it through. Right now, though, it's no longer January 1st, so I'm going to go to bed. Now that I've made some decisions, the reading can begin. Tomorrow. 

Adventing Poorly

Lord, we advent poorly.

We do okay with going

Going to church

Going to school

Going to work

Going to parties

Going, going, going

This, we do well. 

But coming requires less

and more

and we do it poorly.

Coming to the foot of the cross in prayer

Coming to the aid of those who need it

Coming to the realization that we cannot do it all

Coming... implies leaving

And we're not entirely sure we want to leave

the comfort

the freedom to do what we want when we want to

the status

the self importance

the hustle and bustle

the bright lights

for what feels like darkness

cold

silence

and unfulfilled longing.

And so we advent poorly

Trying to to come

while going, going, going

Trying to see the star of Bethlehem

amid the pollution of lights

Trying to hear the still small voice

between the notes of blaring carols

Trying to give enough to feel good

while still remaining wealthy

and comfortable

and un-inconvenienced.

Lord, help us advent poorly

As you did,

giving up everything

for those who have nothing

emptying ourselves

our pockets

our calendars

so we can pour into others

bearing your light

your love

your Word

to those who long to be filled.

Amen

Happy New (Church) Year!

Today marks a new week, a new season, a new year, a new bracelet. Today is the first day of Advent, and I'm having a hard time being still. Even when my body is still, my mind is racing. My aim for this season of Advent is peace and calm. But already I know the season brings busyness, because I can already see what the calendar looks like. And so, I am working on ways to cultivate peace in this season. Here are some thoughts:

• Curate an ADVENT playlist that brings my heart to a place of quiet longing.
• Live in the rhythms of sunrise and sunset, taking cues from nature for when to be still.
• Anticipate the needs of my family and plan meals, including shopping, prep, and cooking time. 
• Complete my work intentionally AT WORK, not bringing it home to complete in the evenings.
• Play games with my family in the evenings.
• Read by candlelight in the evenings.

This year we are going to try lighting only the advent wreath during the week, and only the advent wreath and other candles on Sundays. The Christmas lights are up with all the decorations, but we will not turn them on until Christmas Eve, thus leaning into the feeling of darkness and anticipation. And then... fiat lux! Christmas bursts forth with glorious splendor as we celebrate the Light of the World!

Swollen Skies and Empty Sighs

We are in the midst of an unwanted transition right now, not something I have any control over, but something I am caught up in. And it makes my heart heavy. As I came home from work today, feeling the weight of grief, I could only see the base of the mountains. It felt like the very clouds were pressing down on my chest, making it hard to breathe. It was as if the skies outside and my heart inside stood eye to eye and made a place for my sorrow. Here is what came out of that:

Swollen Skies and Empty Sighs

Sorrow hangs in the air

like clouds shroud the hills,

weighing on my soul

like an unbroken sob.

Whence comes our help?

We lift our eyes to the hills

and see swollen skies:

flat, white clouds,

blotting out beauty,

eclipsing hope.

An empty sigh forms;

no tears to fill it.

This simple act of expiration,

is not of desperation,

for we know there are peaks

behind the clouds,

and breath behind the sigh.

Peaks that will be revealed

in radiant white,

gleaming with snow.

We know they are there,

we just can't see them today.

Lord, let the the terminus

of this sorrow

be peace,

as the clouds bring us snow.

Dona nobis pacem.

All Saints Day

All Saints Day has become one of my favorite holidays. We begin with an All Saints Feast at school, which helps get us into the right frame of mind for this particular holiday. Often, the feast is ON All Saints Day, though this year it was on October 31, in deference to our students and staff who are Catholic and Orthodox and would be celebrating with their churches on November 1. This year, instead of a homily, we had a group present Byzantine Chant for us at the feast. It was BEAUTIFUL! Here is John Michael Boyer chanting Psalm 23. This is not one of the pieces he performed at the feast, but is similar. Some were Greek, some English. All mesmerizing and beautiful.

For our own All Saints observance, we did what we have done the last few years... we light the Christ candle, and from that light individual candles for those whom God has used in our lives, living or dead, to shape our faith.

It is a beautiful time of remembrance for those who have passed on from this life. This year we remembered my grandmothers Helen Mowers and Kathryn Bitikofer, grandfathers Bill Mowers and Ralph Bitikofer, Eliana's great grandfather Rolan Albright, family friend Grandma Bennie, among others. Thank you, Lord, for those who have influenced the ways in which we have been raised to believe in and love you. 

  

We remembered those saints who lived long before us, whose faithfulness paved the way for our own. Some of these included Martin Luther, Corrie Ten Boom, the apostle Paul, and Augustine.

We also remembered those saints who are still with us, who encourage us to walk faithfully day in and day out. Some of these are people we see and talk to regularly, like Craig Dunham, my parents Lauren and Kathy Bitikofer, Leif's parents Terry and Wenda Wickland, Craig and Bobbi Miller, Jason Bowker, and others. Some are people whose words have meant so much to us, bolstering us to shine His light forth in the darkness. Thank you, Lord, for the work and words of people like Andrew Peterson, Jenn Giles Kemper, and Malcom Guite. 

I read two of Malcom Guite's sonnets from Sounding The Seasons to conclude our time, both written for All Saints Day.

Though Satan breaks our dark glass into shards,

Each shard still shines with Christ's reflected light,

It glances from the eyes, kindles the words

Of all his unknown saints. The dark is bright

With quiet lives and steady lights undimmed,

The witness of the ones we shunned and shamed.

Plain in our sight and far beyond our seeing,

He weaves their threads into the web of being.

They stand beside us even as we grieve,

The lone and left behind whom no one claimed,

Unnumbered multitudes, he lifts above

The shadow of the gibbet and the grave,

To triumph where all saints are known and named;

The gathered glories of his wounded love.

After that, we sat around the warmth and glow of the candles, meditating on God's goodness and our rich heritage of faith. As the candles burned down, we were reminded of the brevity of life on this earth, and our call to be salt and light in it, as we traverse the desert from captivity to promised land.

Lord, shine your light in us; make us faithful reflections of your light in this dark world. And as we walk through this last month of the liturgical year, let us be people of Thanks.

Gloria Patri et Filio et Spiritui Sancto, sicut erat in principio, et nunc, et semper, et in saecula saeclorum. Amen.

Four Loves and Eight Hours

I've been pondering praying the hours lately, and talking with Eliana about the four loves. Tonight they converged as I sought a way to record the hours and how they might fit within the rhythm I currently live. This is what I came up with...

In the center, we have the Luther Rose, which reminds me to seek scripture over tradition, faith over works, and grace over merit. Praying the hours buys me nothing, earns me nothing, and means nothing if it does not keep me rooted in the Word. The golden rays remind me that all I do must be illuminated by the Word. The cross divides my day into quadrants, each containing two "hours." The hours themselves are in three hour intervals, from midnight to noon and back to midnight. The typical course of my day is seen in the hearts, each straddling two "hours" and filling one quadrant of the day, night, morning, afternoon, and evening. From midnight to six, I am generally sleeping. From six to eight, getting ready for the day, from eight to noon I am working, with my first class beginning at 8:50. From noon to three I spend visiting friends or reading. From three to six I am doing things around the house, picking Eliana up from school, getting dinner ready, etc. From six to nine we are eating dinner and doing household activities like homework, dishes, etc. From nine to midnight I am getting ready for bed and going to bed. As I looked at how my day was divided, I saw that the four loves nestle nicely into the quadrants, beginning with the time I spend solely with my spouse (eros), to the time I spend teaching children and interacting with coworkers (agape), to the time I spend with friends (philia), and the time I spend at home with my family (storge). While those quadrants do not impact praying the hours, they do remind me of the different ways I reflect God's love to others over the course of my day, and that is directly impacted by my time in scripture and prayer. The smaller circles before and after each hour provide space for putting aside my thoughts of the day and settling into prayer as well as stepping out of prayer and contemplating where God is leading me next in my day and activities. It is the time for easing into and out of formal prayer, while remaining in a state of watchfulness and wakefulness to the Spirit within and the world without.

I do not anticipate praying the Lauds, as I am usually asleep at 3am, but also leave room for restless, wakeful nights and remind myself to spend that time in prayer. If God sees fit to wake me, then I will praise Him for that time of prayer that would otherwise have been lost to me.

Current Reading List...

I’m in the midst of several books right now, in several formats, on several topics. Here are the books forming the larger conversations I’m currently participating in...

Audio Books:

• Omnivore’s Dilemma by Michael Pollan
• Walden by Henry David Thorough

Kindle Books:

• Scraps, Peels, and Stems: Recipes for Rethinking Food Waste at Home by Jill Lightner
• Eve in Exile and the Restoration of Femininity by Rebekah Merkle 

Paper Books

• Ten Ways to Destroy the Imagination of your Child by Anthony Esolen
• Newton’s Principia 
• Enlightening Symbols: A Short History if Mathematical Notation by Joseph Maxie
• Gaia’s Garden: A Guide to Home-Scale Permaculture by Toby Hemenway
• A Small Porch: Sabbath Poems 2014-2015 by Wendell Berry 
• Awed to Heaven, Rooted in Earth by Walter Bruggemann
• Sounding the Seasons by Malcom Guite
• Light Upon Light: A Literary Guide to Prayer for Advent, Christmas, and Epiphany by Sarah Arthur

The last few on the list I’m working through systematically as the liturgical year progresses, so they are not ones I make significant, so much as steady, progress on. 

The last week was a difficult one, with events commemorating Bill Terry’s life and passing occupying my time and thoughts. I didn’t read as much as I had been, but that’s okay. The habits and patterns of reading interrupted by grief will return, sooner for me than for the family, so for now I will mourn with those who mourn, leaving time and space for reflection and prayer when I find myself unable to focus on the words on the page. 

The World Needs Christ

The world needs Christian scientists.
The world needs Christian mathematicians.
The world needs Christian authors.
The world needs Christian musicians.
The world needs Christian doctors.
The world needs Christian engineers.
The world needs Christian philosophers.
The world needs Christian teachers.
The world needs Christian fathers.
The world needs Christian mothers.
The world needs Christians.                             Because...
The world needs Christ.

Loss

I just learned of his sudden death, the husband of my friend, the father of my students, whom we have known for years. And I am at a loss, for words, for her, for them. God, grant them peace.

My heart is built of millions

who have come and gone

and left their mark.

Some marks fade;

this one caved, 

suddenly, without warning.

Just a small bit came off,

but took with it

all the air in the room.

Oh, my heart aches,

not for my loss,

but for hers. 

My heart hurts;

hers is gone,

squeezed dry, 

like her eyes will be

long before her heart

stops

hurting. 

Comfort, peace

grace, relief

Lord, grant them these.