Santa Lucia Day

 Another Santa Lucia Day, come and gone. As we have the last several years, we began with saffron buns and our own Lucia, complete with white dress, red sash, and candled wreath upon her head. As we sat at the table eating, I watch the candles burn down and thought over Lucia's life and death, and what her story can teach us. Of course, that means my thoughts came out in poem form. 

Santa Lucia

Lucia’s candle ever shorter grows

Like these twilit waning days

Against the dark it ever glows

‘Till darkness snuffs its golden rays

Of hope she sings unsetting sun

This bread for you and blood poured out

Her self pledged only ever one

True love her light reflects without

Passion alone her candle burns

No torch can make it blaze

Throat silenced for the quiet yearns

These still dark waning days

This bread eat and drink this cup

Borne light upon your brow

Even falling lifted up

Dawn’s light comes swiftly now

On Santa Lucia day 

2020 Reading list - How did I do?

 Back in January I posted a list of 50 books I wanted to read in 2020. As of today, 11 months into the year, I have read 60 books. But how many of those were on my original list? Let's see... 

• The Overstory by Richard Powers
• A Gospel Primer by Milton Vincent
• Food Matters by Mark Bittman
• Habits of Grace by David Mathis STARTED
• The Complete Tales of Winnie the Pooh
• Everybody Always by Bob Goff
• Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard
• Devil in the White City by Erik Larson
• 100 Cupboards by N.D. Wilson
• Women Rowing North by Mary Pipher
• Educated: A Memoir by Tara Westover

• A book with an emotion in the title: Awe by Paul David Tripp
• A young adult novel: A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle OR The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart
• A book translated from another language: The Song of Roland OR Latin: Story of a World Language
• A book that's centered around a holiday: Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury
• A novel based on a true story: Devil in the White City by Erik Larsen 
• A book with song lyrics in the title: 1984 by George Orwell
• A book that's been on your shelf for more than a year: Norms and Nobility by David Hicks
• A book with a non-human narrator: The Green Ember by S.D. Smith
• A book with a month in the title: The Enchanted April by Elizabeth von Arnim
• A book you heard about on TV / Radio / a podcast: The Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey 
• A book set in the state you live in: Conjugations of the Verb To Be by Glen Chamberlain
• A romance novel: Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

• A Shakespeare Play: Winter's Tale
• A Classic Detective Novel: Strong Poison by Dorothy L. Sayers
• A Contemporary Novel: Gilead by Marilynne Robinson
• A Historical Fiction Novel: The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follet
• A Ancient Greek Play: The Bacchae OR Prometheus Bound
• A Collection of Short Stories: The Return of the Light by Carolyn McVicar Edwards STARTED
• A Biography or Memoir: Take This Bread by Sara Mills
• A Devotional Work: The Desert Fathers STARTED
• A Book About Books: The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society by Mary Anne Shaffer and Annie Barrows
• A Foreign (Non-Western) Book: Comet in Moominland by Tove Jansson 
• A "Guilty Pleasure" Book: The Year of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs
• An Intimidating Book You Have Avoided: Confessions by St. Augustine 
• A Satire: Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
• A Book of Essays: The Art of the Commonplace by Wendell Berry
• A Book by a Minor Author: A Gospel Primer by Milton Vincent
• A Classic Book by a Female Author: Interior Castle by Teresa of Avila STARTED
• A Complete Volume of Poetry by a Single Author: A Timbered Choir by Wendell Berry
• An "Out of Your Comfort Zone" Book: The Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard
• Reread a Book You Read in High School: The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne

• Slow Church
• This Organic Life
• Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places
• The Prophetic Imagination
• The Nordic Theory of Everything
• Long Live Latin
• The Roman Way
• Making of Latin
• Sabbath
• Reading for the Common Good

SO.... I've read an awful lot that wasn't on this list, and not made too much progress on what is here. But I'm okay with that. And I'll have a couple of these done by the end of the year, since I have started them and am making progress. We'll see what the 2021 lineup is in about a month. In the meantime, I'll keep reading. :)

F(e)ast

One season boxed up

the next on display save the

wadded up tablecloth

awaiting the day

it is washed clean

the last remnant of feasting

for tomorrow we fast

the good news of course is

the fast doesn’t last

like our tears it is wiped away

at the feast of the lamb

in the stable at the head

of the table on the throne I am

the one who is able

we fast the time past as we

wait for the feast with breath bated

we open the first door that is dated and

the door to our hearts opens just a bit more

we step through the season to

make it just right as the steps

of the season guide our hearts

through the night to the light

of the candles that shine on the hall

where the banquet is served

come one and come all

for the bridegroom has come - let us feast!

the night will be broken

the silence undone

every string will be tuned

every song will be sung

when the light of the king

shines beyond every shadow

with darkness consumed

by the glorious Son

and the bride and her groom

at last become one.

Learning to be Still

A month into the quarantine, the hard days are fewer and further between. I'm one who finds ways to keep busy most days, so that I don't fall into the depths of despair on the hard days. In this season of solitude, of downtime, of quiet, though, I am learning to be still. I am learning to be present to the thoughts and feelings of the moment, without letting them carry me away downstream. Today I sat outside with my thoughts, and was blessed, not with sudden happiness or the weight lifted, but with the company of birds and sunshine on my face. It is not that we don't walk through hard things; it is that we don't walk through them alone. And so I sat, reminded that hard is not the same as bad. There ARE bad things, but not all hard things are bad. And so, I tried to make something beautiful with what I have to offer today. The video above is the result. I wish you grace and peace as you learn to be present, and still. 

The mystery of Christ... in cookies (Maundy Thursday)

Can the mystery of Christ show up in cookies?

He certainly showed up in their delivery on this Maundy Thursday, just as we were partaking of the elements during the online service that has become "normal" in this time of Covid 19.

When we celebrated communion on Sunday, I had saved the very last of the grape juice from our grapes, thinking it would be fitting to have the last bit for a seder on Thursday, here in our home. But the week got away from me and I did not muster the energy to put together a seder; instead we had alfredo and bread, a warm and cozy meal shared together as a family. Had I realized that we would have communion during the service (which I should have, given that it is Maundy Thursday), I would have saved a bit of the sourdough bread we had with dinner. But I didn't, so Eliana quick grabbed a slice of sandwich bread from the pantry. I silently lamented the insufficiency of a slice of purchased bread to accompany the very last of our grape juice for communion. One seemed fitting for the altar; the other did not.

I served the elements to Eliana, and before she could return the blessing, the Dunhams showed up on my doorstep with Easter cookies, the hands and feet of Christ, in the flesh, to bless me with His presence and love in my isolation. Oh, what joy to be remembered!

Immediately behind the Dunhams, Maggie rode up on her bike to visit across the yard with Eliana. And God's grace dawned on me in a new and profound way:

It is not in the sufficiency of the bread that He comforts us, but with His body, His communion, His fellowship, His love - so often shown not in mysterious ways, but in the mundane. And yet, His presence makes all things sacred, even cookies with pastel M&Ms. A bite of cookie, a sip of juice, and I am blessed by the miracle of His provision for me, once again.

My High Priest (Shrove Tuesday)

Today, on Shrove Tuesday, I ponder the role of a priest. I do not actually go see a priest during Shrovetide, as Christ is my high priest and the only one who stands between me and God, without whom I would have no access to approach the throne of grace. And so, in pondering what it means to shrive, in its three-fold definition of 1) confessing 2) receiving penance 3) being absolved, I also ponder what these mean in relationship with Christ. Here is what came of today's ponderings:

My high priest
Hears my cry
Shows me the way
Says I’m released

My high priest
Takes my confession
Leads me straight
Declares me free

My high priest
Takes my shame
Hears the name
I call myself
He says I am the way
For the next 40 days
And I am the life
You lead and follow
And I am the light
That will guide
You through the darkness
Of the wilderness
So take my yoke
In exchange for your burdens
I’ll bear them for you
For they are death
And I am the truth
Whose name I give to you
To replace the lies
You tend to call yourself

My high priest
Hears my heart
Sets me apart
And makes me clean

My high priest
Hears my cry for mercy
Says come and follow me
And is my Hope.

New Year, New Friends, New Books

Well, here we stand on the threshold of a new year.

As in other years, our daughter had plans for New Years Eve, and we did not. I looked forward to a quiet evening at home, after having house guests for a little over two weeks. We had taken my parents to the airport on the afternoon of the 30th, when Leif came to me later that day and said, "So... there's a guy I know from a couple conferences. I told him that if he's ever coming through this way, he should stay with us. And... he's coming through, so I told him he could stay with us."

"... Tonight?" I asked, hesitatingly.

"Tomorrow."

"Okay. You know that's New Year's Eve, right?"

So... we had plans after all. With a guy I'd never met, but Leif had met a couple times.... and his wife... and their three kids... and a german shepherd.

Feeling the weight of very little time to my introverted self over the past couple weeks, I braced myself for a social next day and set about cleaning up the house from the Christmas chaos that had descended upon it.

Sometimes I forget that we have this house so that we can bless others with it. We certainly don't need a house this large for our family of 3, but we can easily accommodate a family of five when they drop in. And I'm thankful they dropped in.

We rang in the new year playing Monty Python Fluxx, laughing and chatting with these new friends. We had a wonderful time. They brought cinnamon rolls, which we ate for breakfast, and it was, all in all, a lovely time.

As I went to bed a bit after midnight, I pulled out my current book and read before falling asleep. Last year I aimed to read 30 books. I finished 2019 having read 65. And a half, if you count the one I'm in the middle of. In 2020, my goal is to read 50 books. Today, I spent time listening to The Literary Life podcast on their 20 for 2020 reading challenge. I think I'm going to tackle that this year. I may also do a reading challenge from a friend's blog over at While I Was Reading. I am also going to work my way through some books that friends recommended I read in my 40th year.

40th Birthday Book Recommendations:

• The Overstory by Richard Powers
• A Gospel Primer by Milton Vincent
• Food Matters by Mark Bittman
• Habits of Grace by David Mathis
• The Complete Tales of Winnie the Pooh
• Everybody Always by Bob Goff
• Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard
• Devil in the White City by Erik Larson
• 100 Cupboards by N.D. Wilson
• Women Rowing North by Mary Pipher
• Educated: A Memoir by Tara Westover

While I Was Reading Challenge Categories:

• A book with an emotion in the title: Awe by Paul David Tripp
• A young adult novel: A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle OR The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart
• A book translated from another language: The Song of Roland OR Latin: Story of a World Language
• A book that's centered around a holiday: Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury
• A novel based on a true story: Devil in the White City by Erik Larsen 
• A book with song lyrics in the title: 1984 by George Orwell
• A book that's been on your shelf for more than a year: Norms and Nobility by David Hicks
• A book with a non-human narrator: The Green Ember by S.D. Smith
• A book with a month in the title: The Enchanted April by Elizabeth von Arnim
• A book you heard about on TV / Radio / a podcast: The Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey 
• A book set in the state you live in: Conjugations of the Verb To Be by Glen Chamberlain
• A romance novel: Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

The Literary Life 20 for 2020 Challenge:

• A Shakespeare Play: Winter's Tale
• A Classic Detective Novel: Strong Poison by Dorothy L. Sayers
• A Classic Children's Book: The Complete Takes of Winnie the Pooh 
• A Contemporary Novel: Gilead by Marilynne Robinson
• A Historical Fiction Novel: The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follet
• A Ancient Greek Play: The Bacchae OR Prometheus Bound
• A Collection of Short Stories: The Return of the Light by Carolyn McVicar Edwards
• A Biography or Memoir: Take This Bread by Sara Mills
• A Devotional Work: The Desert Fathers
• A Book About Books: The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society by Mary Anne Shaffer and Annie Barrows
• A Foreign (Non-Western) Book: Comet in Moominland by Tove Jansson OR And Quiet Flows the Don by Mikhail Sholokhov
• A "Guilty Pleasure" Book: The Year of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs
• An Intimidating Book You Have Avoided: Confessions by St. Augustine 
• A Satire: Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
• A Book of Essays: The Art of the Commonplace by Wendell Berry
• A Book by a Minor Author: A Gospel Primer by Milton Vincent
• A Classic Book by a Female Author: Interior Castle by Teresa of Avila
• A Complete Volume of Poetry by a Single Author: A Timbered Choir by Wendell Berry
• An "Out of Your Comfort Zone" Book: The Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard
• Reread a Book You Read in High School: The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne

Reading these gives me 40 specific titles to read over the next year. It does not include these books, which I have on my shelf to read: 

• Slow Church
• This Organic Life
• Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places
• The Prophetic Imagination
• The Nordic Theory of Everything
• Long Live Latin
• The Roman Way
• Making of Latin
• Sabbath
• Reading for the Common Good

So... There are 50 books I would like to read this year. We'll see how many of those I actually make it through. Right now, though, it's no longer January 1st, so I'm going to go to bed. Now that I've made some decisions, the reading can begin. Tomorrow.