Today marks a new week, a new season, a new year, a new bracelet. Today is the first day of Advent, and I'm having a hard time being still. Even when my body is still, my mind is racing. My aim for this season of Advent is peace and calm. But already I know the season brings busyness, because I can already see what the calendar looks like. And so, I am working on ways to cultivate peace in this season. Here are some thoughts:
Curate an ADVENT playlist that brings my heart to a place of quiet longing.
Live in the rhythms of sunrise and sunset, taking cues from nature for when to be still.
Anticipate the needs of my family and plan meals, including shopping, prep, and cooking time.
Complete my work intentionally AT WORK, not bringing it home to complete in the evenings.
Play games with my family in the evenings.
Read by candlelight in the evenings.
This year we are going to try lighting only the advent wreath during the week, and only the advent wreath and other candles on Sundays. The Christmas lights are up with all the decorations, but we will not turn them on until Christmas Eve, thus leaning into the feeling of darkness and anticipation. And then... fiat lux! Christmas bursts forth with glorious splendor as we celebrate the Light of the World!
We are in the midst of an unwanted transition right now, not something I have any control over, but something I am caught up in. And it makes my heart heavy. As I came home from work today, feeling the weight of grief, I could only see the base of the mountains. It felt like the very clouds were pressing down on my chest, making it hard to breathe. It was as if the skies outside and my heart inside stood eye to eye and made a place for my sorrow. Here is what came out of that:
All Saints Day has become one of my favorite holidays. We begin with an All Saints Feast at school, which helps get us into the right frame of mind for this particular holiday. Often, the feast is ON All Saints Day, though this year it was on October 31, in deference to our students and staff who are Catholic and Orthodox and would be celebrating with their churches on November 1. This year, instead of a homily, we had a group present Byzantine Chant for us at the feast. It was BEAUTIFUL! Here is John Michael Boyer chanting Psalm 23. This is not one of the pieces he performed at the feast, but is similar. Some were Greek, some English. All mesmerizing and beautiful.
For our own All Saints observance, we did what we have done the last few years... we light the Christ candle, and from that light individual candles for those whom God has used in our lives, living or dead, to shape our faith.
It is a beautiful time of remembrance for those who have passed on from this life. This year we remembered my grandmothers Helen Mowers and Kathryn Bitikofer, grandfathers Bill Mowers and Ralph Bitikofer, Eliana's great grandfather Rolan Albright, family friend Grandma Bennie, among others. Thank you, Lord, for those who have influenced the ways in which we have been raised to believe in and love you.
We remembered those saints who lived long before us, whose faithfulness paved the way for our own. Some of these included Martin Luther, Corrie Ten Boom, the apostle Paul, and Augustine.
We also remembered those saints who are still with us, who encourage us to walk faithfully day in and day out. Some of these are people we see and talk to regularly, like Craig Dunham, my parents Lauren and Kathy Bitikofer, Leif's parents Terry and Wenda Wickland, Craig and Bobbi Miller, Jason Bowker, and others. Some are people whose words have meant so much to us, bolstering us to shine His light forth in the darkness. Thank you, Lord, for the work and words of people like Andrew Peterson, Jenn Giles Kemper, and Malcom Guite.
I read two of Malcom Guite's sonnets from Sounding The Seasons to conclude our time, both written for All Saints Day.
Though Satan breaks our dark glass into shards,
Each shard still shines with Christ's reflected light,
It glances from the eyes, kindles the words
Of all his unknown saints. The dark is bright
With quiet lives and steady lights undimmed,
The witness of the ones we shunned and shamed.
Plain in our sight and far beyond our seeing,
He weaves their threads into the web of being.
They stand beside us even as we grieve,
The lone and left behind whom no one claimed,
Unnumbered multitudes, he lifts above
The shadow of the gibbet and the grave,
To triumph where all saints are known and named;
The gathered glories of his wounded love.
After that, we sat around the warmth and glow of the candles, meditating on God's goodness and our rich heritage of faith. As the candles burned down, we were reminded of the brevity of life on this earth, and our call to be salt and light in it, as we traverse the desert from captivity to promised land.
Lord, shine your light in us; make us faithful reflections of your light in this dark world. And as we walk through this last month of the liturgical year, let us be people of Thanks.
Gloria Patri et Filio et Spiritui Sancto, sicut erat in principio, et nunc, et semper, et in saecula saeclorum. Amen.
I've been pondering praying the hours lately, and talking with Eliana about the four loves. Tonight they converged as I sought a way to record the hours and how they might fit within the rhythm I currently live. This is what I came up with...
In the center, we have the Luther Rose, which reminds me to seek scripture over tradition, faith over works, and grace over merit. Praying the hours buys me nothing, earns me nothing, and means nothing if it does not keep me rooted in the Word. The golden rays remind me that all I do must be illuminated by the Word. The cross divides my day into quadrants, each containing two "hours." The hours themselves are in three hour intervals, from midnight to noon and back to midnight. The typical course of my day is seen in the hearts, each straddling two "hours" and filling one quadrant of the day, night, morning, afternoon, and evening. From midnight to six, I am generally sleeping. From six to eight, getting ready for the day, from eight to noon I am working, with my first class beginning at 8:50. From noon to three I spend visiting friends or reading. From three to six I am doing things around the house, picking Eliana up from school, getting dinner ready, etc. From six to nine we are eating dinner and doing household activities like homework, dishes, etc. From nine to midnight I am getting ready for bed and going to bed. As I looked at how my day was divided, I saw that the four loves nestle nicely into the quadrants, beginning with the time I spend solely with my spouse (eros), to the time I spend teaching children and interacting with coworkers (agape), to the time I spend with friends (philia), and the time I spend at home with my family (storge). While those quadrants do not impact praying the hours, they do remind me of the different ways I reflect God's love to others over the course of my day, and that is directly impacted by my time in scripture and prayer. The smaller circles before and after each hour provide space for putting aside my thoughts of the day and settling into prayer as well as stepping out of prayer and contemplating where God is leading me next in my day and activities. It is the time for easing into and out of formal prayer, while remaining in a state of watchfulness and wakefulness to the Spirit within and the world without.
I do not anticipate praying the Lauds, as I am usually asleep at 3am, but also leave room for restless, wakeful nights and remind myself to spend that time in prayer. If God sees fit to wake me, then I will praise Him for that time of prayer that would otherwise have been lost to me.
I’m in the midst of several books right now, in several formats, on several topics. Here are the books forming the larger conversations I’m currently participating in...
Audio Books:
Omnivore’s Dilemma by Michael Pollan
Walden by Henry David Thorough
Kindle Books:
Scraps, Peels, and Stems: Recipes for Rethinking Food Waste at Home by Jill Lightner
Eve in Exile and the Restoration of Femininity by Rebekah Merkle
Paper Books
Ten Ways to Destroy the Imagination of your Child by Anthony Esolen
Newton’s Principia
Enlightening Symbols: A Short History if Mathematical Notation by Joseph Maxie
Gaia’s Garden: A Guide to Home-Scale Permaculture by Toby Hemenway
A Small Porch: Sabbath Poems 2014-2015 by Wendell Berry
Awed to Heaven, Rooted in Earth by Walter Bruggemann
Sounding the Seasons by Malcom Guite
Light Upon Light: A Literary Guide to Prayer for Advent, Christmas, and Epiphany by Sarah Arthur
The last few on the list I’m working through systematically as the liturgical year progresses, so they are not ones I make significant, so much as steady, progress on.
The last week was a difficult one, with events commemorating Bill Terry’s life and passing occupying my time and thoughts. I didn’t read as much as I had been, but that’s okay. The habits and patterns of reading interrupted by grief will return, sooner for me than for the family, so for now I will mourn with those who mourn, leaving time and space for reflection and prayer when I find myself unable to focus on the words on the page.
The world needs Christian scientists.
The world needs Christian mathematicians.
The world needs Christian authors.
The world needs Christian musicians.
The world needs Christian doctors.
The world needs Christian engineers.
The world needs Christian philosophers.
The world needs Christian teachers.
The world needs Christian fathers.
The world needs Christian mothers.
The world needs Christians. Because...
The world needs Christ.
I just learned of his sudden death, the husband of my friend, the father of my students, whom we have known for years. And I am at a loss, for words, for her, for them. God, grant them peace.
My 12 year old daughter told me recently that I have a “very bad habit of reading more than one book at a time.” I told her it wasn’t a bad habit at all! When I read more than one book at a time, the books get to talk to each other!
I like listening in to the conversation my books are having with each other. More often than not, there are themes that arise across the books I am reading, in places I don’t expect. That is part of the joy of reading!
Currently, I’m listening in on conversations among these books:
Newton’s Principia - this begins with a beautiful poem by Edmond Halley and continues in discussing the precision of geometry, and the imprecision of mechanics and language. He is also talking about ratio and proportion and the discovery of large truths from small truths.
Sounding the Seasons by Malcom Guite - this is book of poetry that begins with the mathematical proportionality of a sonnet and the aesthetic appeal of a black square of text on a white page, as well as the appropriateness of of the sonnet form developing out of an oral tradition of poetry.
Beauty for Truth’s Sake by Stratford Caldecott - more math discussion here, coupled with wonder and enchantment, which happened to be the central ideas of a book I recently finished: Recapturing the Wonder by Mike Cosper. Neither of these books I chose for myself; one was a Christmas gift and the other is reading for school. And yet... they’re happily chatting away with each other and I am fortunate enough to be listening in. Beauty for Truth’s Sake is also conversing with the Principia.
Anthony Esolen’s Ten Ways to Destroy the Imagination of Your Child - this is another read for school, and its introduction is having a brief discussion with Sounding the Seasons on the importance of memory and the value of poetry.
Gaia’s Garden by Toby Hemenway - this book on permaculture has a surprising amount to discuss with the other books I’m reading, especially the books by Esolen, Caldecott, and Guite. While the book is focused on permaculture in gardening, the introduction discusses the wide range of application for permaculture, which seems to be an overarching theme, albeit in different terminology, among several of the other books I’m reading. This interlocution has been a delightful discovery.
A Small Porch by Wendell Berry - part poet, part farmer, Wendell Berry has much to say in this collection of poems and essay on the Sabbath that intertwines with Gaia’s Garden and Sounding the Seasons and Beauty for Truth’s Sake.
Enlightening Symbols by Joseph Mazur - this short history of mathematical notation begins with a contrast of the symbolism inherent in language, specifically poetry, and math. It is an etymology, of sorts, of mathematical notation, and as such it finds itself seated at the table, in conversation with Newton and Caldecott, and with Berry and Guite, and with Latin, with which my days are filled.
So... these are the central contributors to the current colloquium. As I finish some books and begin new ones, the conversation will change in new and interesting ways, but the conversation will continue. That is what it means to read. I read, not to be immersed in some other world and escape this one, but to allow the conversation of other times and other places to draw me in that I may be fully immersed in THIS world. And that seems like a very good habit indeed.
If, of course, you mean the new year of 2019, not the liturgical new year, which began with Advent a month ago.
I did stay awake last night to see the new year in, but I wasn't awake for much longer than that. This morning the house is quiet, and it is a welcome reprieve in a busy season. The week will pick back up with activity tomorrow, but today is a pause, a rest, as I ponder the new year and how I will be shaped in it.
One of the things I am shaped by is what I read. Books. Words. Verba.
There are some books I am currently reading, that I will finish this week. These are books like...
Waiting on the Word by Malcom Guite, which is written around a poem a day for Advent, Christmas, and Epiphany. Malcome Guite is coming to Bozeman this spring, and I am excited to hear him speak. I ordered his book Sounding the Seasons, which is a book of seventy sonnets for the Christian year and I plan to read that over the course of this year.
I am really enjoying reading The Christmas Plains by Joseph Bottum. On loan from a friend, I had to order myself a copy to read next Christmas as well. It is beautifully written and I love how he plays with memories and words and truth that meanders its way through all. That I will have finished by Friday, when I return it to my friend. I am in the last chapter and, honestly, hope that I will have time today to enjoy that last bit of the book.
I am reading Light upon Light compiled by Sarah Arthur again this year. It is full of literary compilations for each week of Advent, Christmas, and Epiphany. That should last into March. For Christmas, my brother-in-law got me a copy of her Ordinary Time compilation, which I am looking forward to reading this summer and fall.
There are some other books I've started reading that may take longer than this week or this season to finish. Then again, they may not. I suppose that all depends on the rhythms I re-inhabit in this new year. Some of those include...
Recapturing the Wonder by Mike Cosper. This was a gift from another friend and I am two chapters in. It is full of deep thoughts, beautifully written, about the disenchantment of ourselves and our world and how to regain a transcendent faith in a disenchanted world. This book, I think, will play into a lot of my thoughts this year.
Newton's Principia. This is taking me a while to work through, but is rich and deep and beautiful on a mathematical level I have never understood. Newton lived in an enchanted world, and I think that makes all the difference in the beauty of his thoughts.
Eve in Exile by Rebekah Merkle which is an apology for the restoration of femininity. I'm about a quarter of the way through.
Awed to Heaven, Rooted in Earth by Walter Brueggemann. This is a book of prayers - poignant, beautiful prayers. Some are arranged according to the liturgical year, and many are written for the day in day out lives we live. I love his prayer for calendars and am praying this today:
Occupy our calendars
Our times are in your hands:
But we count our times for us;
we count our days and fill them with us;
we count our weeks and fill them with our busyness;
we count our years and fill them with our fears.
And then caught up short with your claim,
Our times are in your hands!
Take our times, times of love and times of weariness,
Take them all, bless them and break them,
give them to us again,
slow paced and eager,
fixed in your readiness for neighbor.
Occupy our calendars,
Flood us with itsy-bitsy, daily kairoi,
in the name of your fleshed kairos. Amen.
And then there are books I haven't begun yet, but intend to read this year. There are some themes I want to explore and some books I have had on the shelf and not read, and they make up the remainder of the pile I have sitting next to me...
Sabbath by Dan Allender. This and the next are part of my exploration and fleshing out of Sabbath practices. This is an area in which I'd like to grow this year.
A Small Porch by Wendell Berry. This was a gift from a friend who spent some time fleshing out her own family's Sabbath practices. This is one she found helpful in her own Sabbath journey and gave to help me along mine.
The Year of Small Things by Sarah Arthur and Erin Wasinger. Along the lines of Sabbath practices, this chronicles a year of small practices two families implemented to shape the liturgies and habits of their lives in the midst of the busy season of child rearing.
Quiet by Susan Cain. I've had this book on my shelf for a couple years and have decided it is time to read it.
Ten Ways to Destroy the Imagination of Your Child by Anthony Esolen. This goes along with the idea of inhabiting an enchanted world. I'm looking forward to reading it.
Beauty for Truth's Sake by Stratford Caldecott. This is a book on the Quadrivium, which sort of falls in line with Newton's Principia and the next book. I seem to have a bit of a math theme going on this year.
Norms and Nobility by David Hicks. This is another I have had on my shelf and not yet read. There are a few of us who are hoping to read through it this summer, when school is taking up less of our brain space.
Enlightening Symbols by Joseph Mazur. This is a short history of mathematical notation, more or less from the beginning up to Newton. It is in essence an etymology of mathematical symbolism and the stories surrounding their development and use. This is the book Leif got me for Jolabokaflod this year.
Gaia's Garden by Toby Hemenway. This is a book on permaculture and one I am reading with a friend during the month of January in anticipation of this summer's garden. I am looking forward to both the book and the time spent in discussion with my friend.
So there you have it... Some of the things I hope to read over the course of this year. I am sure there are others that will make their way onto my list as well, like The Wingfeather Saga and other works of fiction. I will finish reading The Last Unicorn with Eliana. It is such a beautiful story. Sometimes it is these works of fiction that capture the imagination most, with stories that are truer than fact. That is their beauty, after all. That is what draws us in.
If the One we celebrate this season is the Word of God, and we are made in the image of the Word, then our words, no matter who we are, in some way reflect the Word in us. Often, our words are a distortion of the the Word, twisted by sin, but where there is a glimmer of truth, goodness, or beauty, it is because He is the Word. We are rooted in Him in a way that we can not escape, no matter how far we run or how deep we hide. And so, words resonate with us. We read because we are drawn to the truth, beauty, and goodness we find in the words, that the words find in us. We read, because deep down, what we long for is the Word, and what the Word longs for is us.
In principio erat Verbum, et Verbum erat apud Deum, et Deus erat Verbum. ~ Secundum Ioannem 1:1
ADDENDUM: With the exception of Sabbath by Dan Allender, I read all of these books this year. Sabbath is on my list for 2020.
